


It Looked Good On Paper

by Katzedecimal



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon, Pre-Fall (Good Omens), Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26743717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzedecimal/pseuds/Katzedecimal
Summary: Before Eden, before the Fall, before time... an angel helped build the stars.   These did not always go according to plan.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 39
Collections: SOSH - Guess the Author #06 "I Had No Idea That Would Happen!"





	It Looked Good On Paper

“This is bullshit!”

“Can’t disagree with you, Tamiel. Kochbiel, these specs look like rubbish.”

“They want us to build a big star, explode it, then condense it? Why? Where’s the point in that, what’s that going to do?”

“This doesn’t look like one of Gadreel’s better ideas.”

“Too right, Nuriel. Alright, we better fan out for this. Tam, what d’you think, a couple hundred parsecs?”

“More than that. A star this big, the blast radius on it will be huge.”

“Alright, move us into position then. I’ll get the star started.”

“Should be far enough now, Kochbiel.”

“Okay! Help me shape this, Tam, it’s getting unwieldy.”

“Got it.”

“Nearing the prescribed size… Nuriel, stand by. Okay, Tam, I think that’s large enough. Specs say now we’re supposed to nova this.”

“I’m not sure about this, Koch.”

“That’s why we brought Nuriel, they have reset.”

“That’s me!”

“This is supposed to nova, then we’re supposed to catch the blast bubble and condense it, how’s that supposed to work? How do we know when to catch it?”

“Nova in 3… 2… 1…”

“WHOA that’s big! Whoohoo!”

“Good one!”

“ **Oh** okay, is that what Gadry meant? Whoo, got it! Tamiel, you got it? Okay, now let’s try… WHOA SHIT!”

“FUCK! _KOCHBIEL!!!_ ”

“Fuck fuck fuck! Nuriel!!”

“Got it! I got this! ………. Okay, there’s the star back. You two okay?”

“ _SHIT!_ I did not know it was going to do _that!_ ”

“Koch, you alright?”

“What the fuck is this thing even _for?_ What is this, some kind of cosmic… sucks-lots-of-things-up thing? How does **this** glorify the Almighty?”

“I have no idea and I think we need to move further out.”

“Think you’re right, Tam. Why’d they pick **us** to do this, anyways?”

“Because we’re expendable?”

“ **Tamiel!!** ”

“Oh come on, Nuriel, you know he’s right. They all hate us back at HQ, we’re the great cosmic misfits.”

“Well, I won’t say you’re _wrong_ , Kochbiel….”

“Come on, let’s just try this again. I think I know what went wrong, I think I can keep it from happening again. Ready?”

“Nova in 3…2… 1… Here comes the bubble…. Got it!”

“Now push… Okay hang on, gonna pulse time! … careful.. Carefulllll…. Almost… Got it! There! Done!”

“……… Where is it?”

“…oh fuck, don’t tell me we lost the thing…”

“Someone’s going to tell Gadreel that making an object that light doesn’t escape isn’t a good idea in a region devoid of light, right?”

“It’s supposed to be high in X-rays and radio signals but I’m not detecting any, are you?”

“Too new?”

“I just saw it! It just passed in front of that star over there and made it go all wibbly for a moment!”

“Where? Ohhh yeah you’re right! I’ve got an idea. Tam, let’s make a few more stars and throw them at it, see what it does to their orbits.”

“…Koch, you’re a genius!”

“Yeah, good job, Kochbiel, that’s brilliant!”

“Thanks, fellas! Hey look at us, I think we’ve figured out black holes!”


End file.
